Reinventing Relationships and Creating Possibilities

In last week’s article, I declared to you the following. “Who I am is the possibility of the day our lives started and possibility.” I am creating the possibility for me to see you and hear you in a new way, every day. As well as to be the creator and recipient of new possibilities in our friendship and connectedness, every day. And that is who I am! I’d like to circle back around to a few key concepts by telling you a story from this weekend.

Last weekend my Dad and I went to a spring training game, L.A. Angels vs. Texas Rangers in Surprise, AZ. Ask me two months ago if I would have seen us driving three hours up and back together in the same car, just for a game and I would’ve been a resounding no. Both from the fact that I was resigned from my relationship and my “I was too busy” excuses would have crippled the possibility of going.

I am proud to say that a short couple of months after completing the Landmark Forum and Advanced Course, I am a transformed man that sees people in a new way.  Especially my family. My Dad and I drove three hours up, watched a great baseball game, went to dinner at Jason’s Deli and then proceeded to drive three hours back home, all in one day.  Although exhausting I learned so much about my Father that I was closed off to hearing before.  I saw him as an important person in my life and ultimately one of my hero’s again. I experienced happiness with him in the fact that his son wanted to hang out with him for no reason, other than to love on him.  To think I was resigned to our relationship being what it was for the past few years because of some B.S. reasons that I created in my head is crazy talk now. Thank you for a wonderful weekend and I cannot wait to do that again with you pops, Love You!

adam-dad-spring-training

In all facets of my life, I am seeing people in a new light.  Upon my personal declaration to this world, I am re-inventing every relationship I have.  I see my clients in a whole new light by listening to their needs and turning off my Already Always Listening filter. I am able to hear what my client wants, followed by being high in integrity I can communicate in such a way that creates buy-in to the possibility I am inventing for their business. Furthermore, I am able to re-invent broken client relationships due to something that happened in the past to which I am now no longer resigned to the fact that “it is what it is.” I am able to communicate with my employees on a level that I’ve never experienced before. Business can be fun, expressive of my personal quirks and owning them as my own by being authentic about them.

The emotional work that I have put in to get to this point has been hard to confront at times but most impactful in my entire life. Which negates how hard it was in hindsight. I refer you to my article The One Thing which will give you tools and insight on how to build a life that creates the space for this kind of personal development work to thrive.

My homework to you is to evaluate the relationships in your life, and pick two relationships that you’ve been resigned to.  What I mean by resigned is, “They are who they are and I cannot talk to them about what’s on my mind.” Or “That’s just the way he/she is, I don’t like it, but I have to deal with it.” Pick two relationships that you’re resigned to the possibility of either the relationship thriving as it did in the past or the relationship is going no further than where it is now, even though I want it to.

 

Once you’ve picked two, do the following:

  • Write down the person you picked and what you’ve been pretending (how you see them)
  • When in fact?
  • What has been the impact of this inauthentic way of being and acting is?
  • What has been missing is any sense of?
  • Standing there, the possibility I am inventing for myself and my life is?
  • Give it some time and pay close attention to how your relationship transforms

 

I’ll share with you one of my possibilities to give perspective and a walkthrough to this exercise.

  1. Write down the person you picked and what you’ve been pretending (how you see them)I picked my Dad three months ago.
    a. I’ve been pretending my Dad was a person that doesn’t like to have fun and was angry all the time at work and me.
  2. When in fact?
    a. I haven’t communicated with him about what angers him. Nor have I recently taken the time to have fun with him.
  3. What has been the impact of this inauthentic way of being and acting is?
    a. The impact has been a broken relationship that seems to go nowhere and is “just there.” It feels as though it not fun or exciting to be in.
  4. What has been missing is any sense of?
    a. What’s been missing is any sense of connection, love and life fulfillment with my Dad.
  5. Standing there, the possibility I am inventing for myself and my life is?
    a. Standing here, the possibility I am inventing for myself and my life is the possibility to connect with my Dad, show my love as unconditional to him and create experiences together that fulfill our lives.
  6. Give it some time and pay close attention to how your relationship transforms
    a. One week after I wrote this in January, the picture earlier in this article is the result I got with my Dad.

I am here to assist you through this exercise and create new possibilities in the relationships that are important in your life.

 

Always Caring,

-Adam Dellos

 

I am open to suggestions, comments, and you sharing your story.  You may direct message me by replying to this email or going to https://www.facebook.com/adam.dellos or https://www.instagram.com/hikingrugger

Have a great day today!

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